Author: Shawn

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“Can I get a grant for taking a shower?”

Tonight, Minnesota Citizens for the Arts (MCA) was having coffee with Pat Pariseau, our state Senator, discussing public funding for the arts—given that Minnesota has had a deficit since forever plus another year or two, they have to go through some budget cuts again. Thus, there were about a dozen locals sitting in a circle, introducing themselves to a person who could destroy their lives with a single finger, pushing a “NO” button during a Senate meeting. Ain’t power a beautiful thing?

Some of the people were members of an orchestra or choir, some worked for the city of Lakeville directly within the arts programs, some just did stuff like quilt-making on the weekends for a little added income. Then there was me. I introduced myself as “somewhat of an enigma” within that little group of people. After all, I haven’t had any direct contact with the arts since I was back at Kenyon, singing in the community choir and with Company, a musical theater group there.

Still, I told her about how I’ve been involved in a multitude of programs in the past—I’ve acted, I played piano and saxophone, I sang in the choir and performed musical theater, I’ve dabbled in writing on the side (yeah, dabbled… you can see how I’ve only been dabbling in here). I didn’t mention that my not currently being involved in the arts meant I eventually dumped all of the programs I was in, but I told her I went to law school, so I wasn’t going to graduate school for art or sewing quilts—nothing like that.

Why was I there? Because I know how important the arts are, both for people’s livelihoods and how they develop a person’s character. I’m probably a bad example when it comes to art benefiting someone’s character, but I imagine it works for other people…

But Pat had one question: even though I said I wasn’t involved in any of those programs, do I still sing in the shower? “Well, yeah, but it’s not publicly funded.” I suppose she could destroy that practice by pushing a “NO” button for budget cuts if they involve cutting off the utilities to my house, but if that happens, well, there were plenty of others at the meeting who support the arts and who probably have showers in their own bathrooms…

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Episode 3: “I do my little turn on the catwalk…”

Horror of horrors! Those were Chuck’s hands rubbing Scarlet’s back!
Girls: We have liftoff! (2-liter bottles + baking soda + vinegar = kablooey!)
Guys: C’mon, guys, let’s go shopping! (“They said my name and my jaw hit the floor.”)
I’d say I was speechless, but you could see my lips saying “Wow” a lot.
“You’re trying to form an alliance, aren’t you?”
Caitilin won one challenge, I won the other.
Richard and Mindi & Brad and Krystal go to the elimination room.
Brad and Krystal go home. (Richard vows revenge.)

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What were you thinking?!

Here’s another post you can use to learn some of what’s been going on in the mansion. Or at least in my head while in the mansion. I figure I can put this on the blog and let people ask questions about what I’ve been thinking in the last two episodes, my thoughts after tomorrow (Episode 3), etc. Again, I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to answer them right away—the WB knows about this site and has the power to destroy my life and make me a miserable shell of a man who once had the power to screw up the backs of multiple hot women over the span of ten minutes.

For example, you can post something like “Why did you punch Richard in the head after he peeked into the bathroom while you were taking a dump?” I would in turn post “You’ll never, never, ever be invited to my house, freak boy…” Perhaps your questions will be a bit more mundane, in which case I’ll response more mundanely myself… or not. But hopefully you’ll get an answer with actual information that way.

Oh yeah, and if the WB tells me not to post any “motivation” entries, you’ll be reading one about censorship instead. (No offense to the powers that be.)

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I swear to God, I’m not making this into a career

There has been a large consensus that Richard’s behavior on Beauty and the Geek is merely an attempt to break into Hollywood (his ultimate plan is to be to become an actor, though given the choice and execution of his antics, becoming a “comedic” actor is questionable). I, on the other hand, plan to stick around here in Minnesota, though it seems I haven’t fully escaped the realm of movie cameras and spotlights. My “credits” have moved beyond my three-minute appearance on The WaZoo! Show—now they include working as an extra for an independent film.

It was basically a favor for a friend. Matthew Feeney sent out a mass e-mail because a film he’s involved with (Fall Into Me) was having a shoot on Thursday night from 7:00pm till Friday morning at approximately 7:00am. (It turned out to be closer to 4:30, but you get the idea…) They needed people who’d be willing to work the night shift to fill up the background. I figured, “Hey, I haven’t got a set schedule, why not help them out?” Continue reading “I swear to God, I’m not making this into a career”

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Episode 2: Greasy fingers

The cast discovers that Eric and Cheryl have left the premises without saying their final goodbyes.
Richard begins to channel the essence of Woody Allen.
“I want to form an alliance. Nothing I say or do should be taken seriously.”
Girls: They never played with Matchbox cars as kids. (“Scarlet had a helluva time with the lug nuts.” And she was in front until she got to the tire…)
Guys: Giving the ladies a lube job. (Note to self: applying too much pressure + shaky hands = pissed-off woman.)
Chuck and Caitilin win both challenges.
Joe and Erika & Brad and Krystal head to the Elimination Room.
Joe and Erika go home.

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Coming out of the closet… um, basement.

Boy, you read these chat sites long enough and you find all sorts of stuff you didn’t know about yourself. And then you find stuff that you do know about yourself. Here’s a quote from the WB’s official page for Beauty and the Geek as to why Scarlet and I won’t win:

Heather, Atlanta
06/04/2005 16:24
While Shawn is a nice guy, he just doesn’t have the drive that the winner will need. This is a guy who has a LAW DEGREE but hasn’t passed the bar and lives in his parents’ basement at 28. Granted, he has more room for improvement than some of the other guys. My favorite part of this pairing is that he doesn’t drink but got paired with the beer spokesmodel.

I figure since I’m trying to dispel rumors, I might as well own up to the truth as well. At least to the current history part. Yep to nice guy, not drinking, LAW DEGREE, not passing the bar, room for improvement and parents’ basement. (Can’t say about the basement part for him, but family and friends like to comfort me by noting that JFK didn’t pass the bar the first time, either…)

As for the drive to win, I can’t say. Well, I could, but is proving whether I have the drive to win worth a $5,000,000 lawsuit? I know I’m not allowed to practice law yet, but I can still do math and I’m pretty sure the answer is “No.” We’ll just have to wait and see who gets to rub the other’s nose in the end result. I can smell the musty basement already…