Remember: age is a number, not a lifestyle. WHEEEEEE!!!
Where’s the suggestion box?
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. If you can say something nice, be sure to mention it while you’re complaining about everything else.
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It does a body… neutral?
There’s been an ad on TV recently for Caltrate, a drug that provides more calcium to help strengthen your bones. Why should we take it?
“Our bodies can steal calcium from our bones.”
Which means our bodies are stealing calcium from… parts of our bodies. Shame on us all…
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Hello? Is anyone here?
Companies tell their workers to be innovative by thinking outside the box, but shouldn’t someone stay inside the box in case there are still some good ideas left in there?
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There’s almost enough room to breathe
Excerpt from “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by.
Given how many people quote this poem and claim they’ve taken “the one less traveled by”, I can only imagine how packed the one more traveled by must be.
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All’s fair in love and war
So if you steal your best friend’s boyfriend, don’t be surprised to open your door one day to find a patrol of National Guard members in full combat gear waiting to drag your ass out to Guantanamo Bay.
