Some anecdotes are like vacuums: they suck.
Repeat these three little words
Remember to say “I love you.” Even if you’re absolutely sure they know, a little reminder can’t hurt.
Alternative medicine
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, though you may need two or three if your aim is a little off.
Can I get those tasers in bulk?
Maybe money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you stuff that’ll make other people way more miserable than you.
There can be only one roll of TP!
Shit happens, then you die. Unless you’re the Highlander, in which case it keeps piling up.
Good fortunes (in bed)
I’m not sure how many of you have played this game before, but when I go to a restaurant that gives out fortune cookies, I always eat the entire cookie first (otherwise, the fortune won’t come true). As many of you may have experienced, some of the fortunes really suck. Really bland, really boring—doesn’t give you much to look forward to in life. However, if you add the words “in bed” to the end, they’re oftentimes more entertaining (and sometimes make more sense). Oh, and don’t ask me why I’ve saved these because I don’t have a good answer. Maybe it’ll say in my next cookie. Continue reading “Good fortunes (in bed)”