I was referring to bowling—what were the perverts thinking about?
Location, location, location
“It’s neither here nor there.” Well, if it’s not here and it’s not there, where is it?
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The Seventh Day
If God rested on the seventh day and we celebrate that day of rest on Sunday, why do most calendars put Sunday at the beginning of the week?
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Ride’em Cowboy!
If gay marriages are outlawed, only outlaws will have gay marriages.
Just imagine: cattle thieves kissing their goodbyes before a gunfight with lawmen at the O.K. Corral.
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Glass of Water, State of Mind
OPTIMIST — “The glass is half full.”
PESSIMIST — “The glass is half empty.”
REALIST — Drinks the water and gets on with his life.
SURREALIST — “Whoa. It’s an octopus.”
IDEALIST — “Water! Nectar of the gods!”
CAPITALIST — “So, how much can we get for selling this?”
ENVIRONMENTALIST — “Put the glass down! The water is filled with chemicals! Let’s tie ourselves to trees in protest!”
ACTIVIST — “Damn the man! Break the glass! Show them we mean business!”
PACIFIST — “Do what you want with the water, just don’t hurt me.”
ME — “Screw water, I need something with caffeine. I have a 20-page paper due tomorrow morning and I haven’t started it yet.”
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Word Play
I know, I’m stealing material from another source, but I felt the need to share. If anyone who submitted these quotes to the Mensagenda wants credit, just post a notice and you’ll get the props you deserve. If you’re lying about submitting these quotes, I’ll post a notice and you’ll get the anti-props you deserve. Plus your nose will grow really long. And I’ll tell your parents and you’ll get a serious paddlin’ when you get home. Continue reading “Word Play”
