Category: Saying of the Day

Speak softly, leave your big stick at home and hide in the bushes.

What does not kill me can still leave me in a persistent vegetative state, which, let’s face it, isn’t much stronger than being dead.

What happens if you’re driving, a black cat starts to cross the road in front of you and you run over it with your car? Do you end up with really bad luck because the bad luck stored inside the cat comes out of its body all at once? Good luck because you destroyed the source of bad luck? For safety’s sake, you may want to be extra protective of the parts of your body it managed to cross before getting hit.

Newscaster describing a traffic accident earlier today:

“It happened at about 11:30 this afternoon.”

All you need is love… until you run out of air and asphyxiation sets in. Then oxygen becomes pretty important, too.

Announcement over the P.A. system in Walgreens:

“It is 10 minutes until 10:00. We’ll be closing in… 10 minutes.”