Accounting on drugs

For those of you who have taken an accounting class before, you know how boring it can be at times. Our professor is trying to keep things as light and upbeat as possible, but I’m starting to wonder about him…

The accounting equation: Assets = Liabilities + Equity. If one side goes up, something on the other side goes up; if one asset goes up, another goes down and so on. “If my cholesterol is 120 and I’m doing lines of coke, maybe that evens out!”

And he has an interesting opinion about people in marketing, too. “Two things marketing people do. One, snort coke. Two, play the ukulele.”

Yeah, things could be… interesting for the remainder of the course.

Sometimes you don’t have an answer

When that happens, sometimes you have to improvise.

I finished taking my final exam for Quantitative Decision-Making for Managers earlier tonight and I’m burned out. That’s what happens when you sit in front of a computer and stare at spreadsheets for 3 1/2 hours straight, although I’m pretty sure it could have been a lot less in my case.

The exam had seven questions with multiple parts and we were allowed to omit one of the seven. I went through them in order, got started on all of them, but when I hit the wall on one question, I’d move on to the next. There were a few times when I knew how to get certain parts right because I remembered screwing them up on an earlier quiz. Knowing what to look for and how to solve it was… sort of a good feeling, but not entirely.

Eventually, I finished five and had the last part left on the final two. I could not figure them out.

Perhaps the worst part was that it was an open-book exam. We could look at our textbooks, PowerPoint files, spreadsheets with equations on them… the works. This professor felt the same way as my Business Stats teacher: if you’re not sure what the answer is, you can go look it up. Obviously, it was good to remember how to use some equations properly in a spreadsheet, but you always had reference materials available.

The reference materials weren’t helping. I was completely stuck. The monitors in the computer lab don’t have clocks on them—there’s only one up on the wall—so I don’t know how much time passed while I was staring at them. I finally decided to focus on one partly because it seemed easier and partly because it was only worth 3 points instead of 4. If I couldn’t come up with an answer, I wouldn’t lose as many points.

So I tried writing out this equation, but when that didn’t work, I’d try another equation, but that wasn’t the right answer either, so let’s try to figure it out this way… nada. Nothing was working.

When I looked up at the clock for the last time, it was about 9:30 and we had until 10:00 to finish the exam. That’s when I said “Screw it” and started punching in numbers. I had part of an equation written out, so as I changed one number, another would get closer and closer to the result I needed. I changed the number again and again and finally got it accurate to two decimal points—the required amount for the problem—then punched that result into another equation and it worked.

I saved the spreadsheet, uploaded it into the class database, then left. That was it. I was done. No more staring at the screen for me. Now I’m at home… using my computer. (Yes, there’s just a tiny bit of irony there.) But at least I’m not just sitting here, staring blankly at the screen with a confused look on my face.

This blog entry? Doesn’t have an answer. Doesn’t need an answer. Thank God.

We’re going to pump *CLAP* you up!

I don’t want to say I’m lacking in inspiration, but for lack of a better subject, I’m going to provide a history lesson about what led up to my impending surgery. In a way, I’m glad it’s happening two weeks from now, because the back story could take several entries. Whether that’s because I want to provide a natural break between topics or because I’m lazy… I ain’t gonna tell you.

Suffice it to say that if you want to read the whole epic saga in one sitting, you may want to wait for a few days, then drop by the blog with some popcorn and a Coke. It may not last as long as Titanic and the soundtrack isn’t as good, but at least this story was cheaper to produce. Plus my acting isn’t as overrated.

The most likely beginning of the story spans back to last summer. That’s right, last summer. Ooh, the plot is thickening already… Continue reading “We’re going to pump *CLAP* you up!”

I hate meetings

After attending Normandale last semester, my grades were high enough to merit a letter in the mail that began with “Dear Honor Student.” I don’t want to just thumb my nose at Alpha Kappa Alpha (Normandale’s chapter of Phi Theta Kappa)—I’m sure it’s an outstanding “international honor society for two-year colleges” that will “enrich my life while I attend Normandale and also remain with me as I pursue other educational or career goals.” Whether I want to spend eighty bucks for such an honor… well, that’s not the point. The point is on the third page. Continue reading “I hate meetings”

The title should tell you what’s in the text

Just in case “Dragging You Outside Right Now” wasn’t good enough for you, I went looking through more papers from college and found even more really good titles (some better than others, but some papers were better than the others, too):

Ma’am, You May Be Ugly, But I’m Not Drunk

No One Ever Says, “I Wanna Be A Slave When I Grow Up…”

Whoever Dies With The Most Toys Wins… Or Maybe Not

“Moby Dick Is A Vengeful God…”

Which Side of the Fence Does Antonio Play On?

No Marriage Counselors in Ancient Greece

“Coke. No, Pepsi. No, Coke. No, Pepsi…”

Life is Good, But Mine Sucks.

This Paper Is Brought to You Courtesy of the Letters G-O-D and the Number 3

Working at McDonald’s is Inherently Alienating

Furies and Prophecies Don’t Mix

Mommy, I Wanna Be A Couch Potato When I Grow Up.

Wing Could Please A Lotta Women With Those Hands…

The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of the Dead

Roger Ebert Rode A Blazing Saddle…

Is Intelligent Life Out There Or Is It Just Me?