19th Century Philosophy (Ulf):
True love? Naaah… you just had a little too much coffee or smoked too much.
Swim around in Hegel for a while.
As a present, I’m giving you your first… and probably only… philosophical centerfold.
Ned: “Does he want everyone to be making their own shoes?”
Ve haff vays of makink you pay!
“The Dialectic of Lordship and Bondage,” which sounds to me to be a better title.
Bill does not have the ability to abstract himself from his desires.
[Fear of spiders] Frankly, it’s because they’re too damn creepy-crawly.
Oh yeah, I love you too… we’re great friends…. 😐
You say, “I forgive you,” but in your heart of hearts, you’re thinking, “Bastard….”
If I don’t get my Skittles, I feel bad. Other people don’t give a hoot.
I want Skittles and I’m free if I get ‘em.
If they had willed to come… whoa, that’s way too risqué….
Your desire for food does not include a hankering for grubs.
Imagine how embarrassed you’d feel if you walked into Big Bear and said, “I’m really hungry. Can I go grab some food?”
I don’t tolerate skepticalness.
It fits well, keeps you warm, has pockets in all the right places….
“Is this really crap I’m making, or is it the next step in art?”
There’s a part of me in these nuclear weapons. I use yellow paint.
This is a Communist pornographer.
When you get your papers is contingent on when my baby gets well and decides to sleep at night.
What does this refer to? …. Who’s the only other philosopher we’ve read? Hegel!
The relationship is more complicated than one or two exploding Space Shuttles.
Suppose the Jacksonville Jaguars come to play our football team. Is it inevitable that they’ll win? Yes.
Will I one day wake up from life?
Life is good, but mine sucks.
If your eyes don’t glaze over, there’s something wrong with you.
You don’t understand me, you just think that what I say is cool.
Student: “Why don’t you take on that as a teacher?” Ulf: “I’m not gonna tell you.”
That was, like, four hundred pages just to show that he’s a lying bastard. A legally accurate lying bastard, perhaps, but a lying bastard nonetheless.
I think it’d be fun. Philosopher’s fun. Nerdy fun.
Philosophy is just a way to impress chicks! Well, not really… it’s to impress guys.
Gorillas thump their chests, Socrates was a great dialectician—it’s the same thing.
[Nietzsche] He’s like a greased pig.
Ulf: “Is that right?” Peter: “In what way?”
My possibility is becoming a really great child pornographer.
“Hey, fat boy! You’re alienated!”
