Turns out I didn’t have to wait that long. On Tuesday (Nov. 3rd), I got home from work and discovered a new message on the answering machine. I also discovered one of the evils of call waiting. Whenever you’re talking on the phone, it’ll *BOOP* in the receiver twice to let you know there’s someone calling on the other line. Thus, this is the direct transcript of the second message:
“Hi, this message is for Shawn Bakker [pronounced “Baker”], um, my name is Megan, I’m calling from the WB show The *BOOP*or in Minneapolis, um, we would love to see a little bit more of you on a home tape. If you can please gimme a call back at 310-727-three-three-*BOOP* I’ll explain a little bit more about it to you. Thanks, Shawn. Again, my name is Megan. Bye.”
Shit.
There was no way to hear what those last two digits were. We have caller ID—it just said PRIVATE CALLER. Again, I haven’t the slightest idea how Hollywood works, but I had the feeling that they wouldn’t call a second time if they didn’t hear from me within a few days.
Shit.
I tried calling Amy at Akerlind the next afternoon (when I first woke up that morning, I would have been calling at about 7:30 PST and by now, I would have preferred trying to send smoke signals cross-country rather than deal with any more answering machines). Thankfully, she gave me those last two digits (and I ain’t givin’ ‘em to you because I don’t need your help—I can sabotage my own application to this television show, thank you very much). Then I called and asked for Megan.
She gave me a brief explanation of the next step in the process and then sent me an e-mail with two documents attached. One was a 10-page questionnaire—hey, at least I have more than ten minutes to fill it out this time—and the other was a “flyer” that included some more details about what I’m supposed to do next. Since I’m having fun quoting this stuff verbatim, here’s the document in its entirety. (I imagine that the first part was primarily the original pitch to get people to apply; the second step… well, it says when the second part starts.)
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Win a HUGE CASH PRIZE and PAY OFF STUDENT LOANS!!
This is the Opportunity of a Lifetime!
The WB has a new game show looking for smart SINGLE guys 21-32 years old with a high IQ and a savvy intellect. If you are more likely to be featured on Jeopardy rather than The Bachelor then we want you and you need us. [That’s right: survival depends on food, water, oxygen and the WB… who knew?] The next step is to make a home tape and tell us who you are.
How to make a good home tape:
Send us a 5-minute VHS videotape showing us why you should be on this Game Show. Make your video as personal as possible. We recommend that someone else record you. Start with your name, age, and hometown. There is no “right” or “wrong” thing to say on a tape, we just want to get to know you. If you’d like, take us on a tour of your life. Show us what’s important to you. What sets you apart from other people? Tell us where you work. Tell us where you go/ went to school (this is your 5 minutes to brag). Why are you a good candidate for this show? Remember, we need to SEE YOU IN ACTION!!
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So I printed out this flyer about eight hours ago and I’m stumped as to what I’m going to do. I managed to procure myself a VHS camcorder (you’d think they’d gone the way of the Betamax, but there’s one charging up in the family room courtesy of Matthew Feeney and the St. Paul Red Cross). Now I just have to find a cameraperson, an idea of what to put on the tape, find out if I can record a bunch of stuff to cut and paste together into a brief “Life of Shawn” movie… so many questions, such a short deadline. Megan said they wanted it by early next week. If that’s the case, to make sure it arrived on time, I should have shipped off the tape the day before she left her message on the answering machine. Grrrr…
