“Do you know what you just voted for?”
“Castrating gerbils for scientific experiments.”
“…”
Drugs are bad for you
IOGT is an organization that promotes peace, brotherhood and temperance (which should be interpreted as “peace, brother-and-sisterhood and no-drugs-or-alcohol-but-other-passions-shouldn’t-be-moderated“). I’m a fourth-generation member of IOGT, but that’s not the only reason why I choose not to drink or use drugs; the video below should provide you with some other really good reasons to stay away from that kind of stuff.
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Sober Fest 2008
This entry is a bit of a flashback, given that it happened on June 30th. I know, it took me way too long to write this, I have no excuse and should be castrated. That being said, I want to tell you all a bit about Sober Fest 2008. Continue reading “Sober Fest 2008”
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Lubricated by Love
We always have a brief church service at Good Templar Camp during the summer. The year before, the teen counselors pick quotes from a multitude of books that they have to read during church the next time around. (Naturally, there are kids who make it to camp one year, then have to miss the next year “because I got a job”… the things people will say to get out of public speaking.) But there are books with Bible verses, poetry and various “meditations of the day” like this one:
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1 Corinthians 13: “Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love” (v. 13).
A lubricant makes most things work better because it cuts down the friction at the points of contact. Oil is a lubricant. Powdered graphite is a lubricant. Love is a lubricant.
Love is a lubricant? Correct! At the places in life where misunderstandings build and tensions mount and hurts fester and anger rumbles—at all those places, love helps life function better, without explosion after explosion. Love makes it possible to forgive, to overlook, to understand, to let it pass. Love cuts down harmful friction at the points of human contact! *
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There’s more to the quote, but I’ve usually got a case of the giggles by this point. Think about it: love = lubricant. Just imagine what some song lyrics would sound like with such a religiously positive change… And hey, God wants you to say it!
Queen, One Year of Love: Just one year of lubricant is better than a lifetime alone. (Sounds like those two would go hand-in-hand, really… Ba-dum-bum, ching! Thanks, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip your wait staff!)
Sarah McLachlan, Ice Cream: Your lubricant is better than ice cream. (Mmmm, tastes like chocolate…) Your lubricant is better than chocolate. (Okay, if your lubricant is better than shoes, I think a lifetime alone will be just fine.)
Tonic, Love A Diamond: Lubricate a man who lubricates a diamond… (I think this is either appreciating a guy who just proposed or playing with glass dildos…)
Barenaked Ladies, In The Drink: I wanna drink your lubricant. (Goes down smooth and easy…)
Jewel, U & Me = Love: If you let me be me, I’ll be better than your best dream, U & M-E spells L-U-B-R-I-C-A-N-T to me. (Is it getting warmer in here or is it just me?)
Sheryl Crow, Where Has All The Love Gone: (Insert your own joke here.)
* Quote from p. 21, Bible Readings for Teenagers, Charles S. Mueller.
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Slash and burn
Okay, I guess it’s time to come clean: I’m not a lethargic sloth. I know it might seem that way, especially given that I’m still living in Studying-For-The-Bar-Exam-Land. It brings forth an image of me hunching over books, flipping through pages and pages of worthless material (if you ask most lawyers who have been practicing for a few years, you’ll discover that most of them have forgotten everything they needed to know on those fateful two days). So I read my books, write on my blog, occasionally get together with my friends… “Wow, he walked from the parking lot into the restaurant! What a powerhouse! I want a piece of that muscular ass!”
But like I said, I’m coming clean. I wouldn’t say it’s a muscular ass, but I hope it’s moving in that direction. As nice as it would be to have extra cushioning when I’m sitting around for hours on end, the jiggling back there while I walk would drive me nuts. Consequently, I’ve been working out. Doing a little biking, doing a little running around, even doing a little rock climbing. Why, you might ask? And I might answer “None of your damn business!” But I’d more likely say that it’s because I’m preparing for a season of adventure racing.
I haven’t the slightest idea how many eyes may have perked up when they read that, but it’s not exactly a wide-spread sport. You’ve probably heard of the big competitions in other sports: the Super Bowl, the Tour de France, the Indianapolis 500… you may have even heard of “The World’s Biggest Gang Bang VII.” (That’s my personal favorite, but the one down side compared to other sports is there aren’t any “dynasties”—the women are one and done. But it’s not hard to imagine why that’s the case.) What you probably haven’t heard of is Primal Quest.
It’s a big adventure race that tests a person’s physical and mental endurance well beyond that of other piss-ant sports. Screw the Boston Marathon—teams in Primal Quest will run for seven days on four hours of sleep. … Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration… they run on five hours of sleep. If you’re wondering what it’s like to hallucinate but you’re not into stuffing small plastic bags of powder into your rectum so the cops won’t find them, then adventure racing is for you. One day of pushing yourself as hard as you can with a half-hour nap and you’ll be seeing Santa Claus riding a flying octopus and flipping you the bird in no time.
For those a little more hesitant, a little less fit and a lot more sane, there are a lot of shorter races as well, but they have a lot of the same elements: biking, climbing, orienteering, etc. (Since I’m too lazy to write out a long description of everything that adventure racing entails, click here to learn more.) Given that it’s a team sport, I’ve joined up with my older brother Brent to form GT Frost. (Even though I feel obligated to not be too lazy to write a description about the team, you can still click here to learn more.)
Our adventure racing careers spawned in the wake left by my little brother, Justin. He’s a seriously hardcore, total badass when it comes to adventure racing. If you need proof, check out WEDALI’s website and see how many people’s worlds they’ve rocked. But for Brent’s sake, Justin broke away from his team for the “Spring Sprint” the last two years and joined “Team BEK-N” (we figured that was the best way to get people to pronounce our last name properly). The three of us would find a female to fill our roster, then hit the trail in the middle of May to enjoy the glowing sun shining down and a cool breeze in our faces. Or not-so-enjoy heavy rain spewing from the sky and an icy, gusting wind that made our nuts shrivel up into sperm-filled raisins. Amazing how much the elements can change from race to race, year to year…
But the organizers have changed the system this year: because people have been holed up all winter and want to get the hell out into the woods, the sprint race will be in the summer and this spring is supposed to last closer to 8-12 hours. Surprisingly enough, we opted to exert our independence by letting Justin return to WEDALI and running as a two-man team. In doing so, we abandoned Team BEK-N and became GT Frost.
