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What do zombies press for Español?

Thank you for calling the Zombie Apocalypse Hotline. If you have a question about zombies, press 1. If you’re being chased by zombies, press 2, then hang up and run away before you get eaten. If you’re trying to kill a zombie, press 3, then aim for the head and double-tap. If you are a zombie, please stay on the line or say “BRAAAAAAINS…” and an operator will be sent to destroy you shortly. Thank you again for calling the Zombie Apocalypse Hotline and have a pleasant day.

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Kick reposting’s ass!

I hold a great deal of respect for cancer patients, victims, survivors, etc., which is why I wrote the “Kick cancer’s ass!” blog post.

However, I’m tired of all the “Look at me, I’m supporting an important cause!” status messages, so I’m fighting back! If you feel the need to use this status message, go for it. I’ll give you a pass this time—it won’t soil your reputation in my eyes and I won’t think you’re a complete loser. This time…

“Today is ‘Don’t Repost This Status’ Day. This status is meant to honor those people who don’t repost it, but for the 3% who do, you should know that reposting a status message is an empty gesture that doesn’t actually accomplish anything. If you repost this for at least an hour, I will laugh at you to your face.”

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No more WordPress Tweeter

As much fun as it is to say “I’ve been posting tweets”, when I look back at the last three months and the ratio between “Here’s a funny statement” and “New Post”… I don’t even want to do the math.

Consider this example: Christiano Ronaldo plays soccer for Real Madrid. He’s fast, lots of good moves, scores a bunch of goals. He also falls down a lot. Sometimes he gets fouled; sometimes he gets bumped, falls down, then starts demanding that the ref should have blown the whistle. He’s a skilled player and he’s a whiner. (I think that’s one reason why I find this World Cup commercial from Nike very fitting.)

[tube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBZtHAVvslQ&feature=channel_video_title[/tube]

I don’t think this is an economic equation like supply and demand, but I find there’s an inverse relationship between volume and scale: the more frequently you do something, the less significance it has each time. If you whine whenever you get bumped, the ref isn’t going to listen to you. If you only yell when you’re rolling around on the turf, bleeding from several orifices, people will call the ambulance a lot sooner.

Maybe that example is a bit extreme, but when I see that list of “New Post”, “New Post”, “New Post”, “New Post”, something funny, “New Post”… a majority of the tweets in the last three months have been irrelevant and boring (unless it leads you to read the blog posts, of course). So I’m done with WordPress Tweeter for a while. The frequency of my tweets may slow to a crawl or possibly dry up altogether, but at least you’ll know that when I have 140 characters of material to write, it’ll be more worthy of reading. And I hope for my sake that there won’t be any rolling around on the turf or bleeding orifices involved.