Barbie’s chiropractor must be raking in the dough

A quick note about trivia at the Green Mill in Lakeville on Thursday nights: it’s broken into two halves and the team with the highest score for the first half gets two drinks courtesy of the MC. If there’s a tie, he summons a representative from each team to the bar and asks them a tie-breaker question. It doesn’t change anyone’s score, but that’s how they determine who gets the drinks. This was the most recent tie-breaker:

If a Barbie doll was a life-sized person, what would her bra cup size be?

Both people whispered their answers in his ear and I guessed at our table that she’d need an F. [Insert quiet drum solo here.] The MC announced that one person had guessed C and my jaw dropped. The other one? B. Not the first letter of her name, her bra size. I was dumbfounded. Flummoxed. Flabbergasted, even!

I mean, I wasn’t a big Barbie fan when I was a kid (at least that’s what I’m telling you), but He-Man’s pecs were larger than a B! There is no way that Mattel would make toys based on gender stereotypes and give a masculine sword-wielding dude bigger boobs than a subservient woman!

Then the MC revealed the answer: Barbie would need a double-F cup. When looking for a website to confirm that answer just now, I found some other disconcerting measurements: she has child-size 3 feet, a body-mass index (BMI) so low she’d be biologically incapable of menstruation, a head so big it’d snap her neck in two… body proportions that all women should aspire to, especially since they can get you free drinks at Green Mill on Thursday nights.