Okay, so my phone is old-school…

It’s a flip phone. I like it. The little hinge helps it hug my face (yay for hugs!) and puts the receiver closer to my mouth so I don’t have to talk as loudly. It keeps the conversation… more private? I know that might sound a little weird, but that’s basically how it feels.

However! I’m starting to think I should upgrade, if for no other reason than people keep sending me text messages. This is important because 1) my current calling plan doesn’t have free texting; and 2) when I say “phone is old-school”, I mean it’s the 10-digit pad where you have to hit the 7 button four times to get an S in the message. It takes a while to write stuff, especially when you’re committed like me and type out entire words as opposed to “how r u?”

I’ve started doing some research online and just looking at the information (and the prices) is making my wallet feel like a piece of charcoal that’s going to burst into flames any second, which is especially bad since I keep it in my front pocket. Part of the reason is because I don’t want to get a fat wallet and start leaning to one side every time I sit down; part is because if someone’s going to pick my pocket, I might as well get a little thrill out of it.

But due to the joys of the Interwebs, there’s an ungodly amount of information floating around that may or may not useful. Consequently, I figured I could ask all of you what phones you have and why they’re awesome/why they suck. Thoughts/comments/suggestions? (Writing “I can’t believe you’re a geek and you don’t have a smartphone” isn’t productive, so don’t bother, Matthew…)

Oh, and I was also thinking about buying a new GPS on Cyber Monday because mine sometimes has issues and the company that made it no longer exists. (One time I used it to try to get home—when I was “at my destination”, I was actually in St. Paul, about half an hour’s drive north.) If I get a smartphone, it could fulfill that need as well, so two birds with one calling plan…

Technology Gone Berserk

You’ll have to blame Radio Shack for this entry. See, I occasionally have illusions of grandiosity—while my activities have been limited to appearing in cable access shows up to this point, my brain sometimes roams to various themes of jokes that I could use in a comedy club. When I read this particular Radio Shack ad, it had a bunch of cell phones on the last two pages.

At that point, I was thinking about how if I ever got one, it’d be the flip-open kind just because it’s easier to cover up your mouth when you’re talking smack about someone sitting next to you at the dinner table. Then I started looking at their little screens and saw some text messages, a little bowling alley… that’s when this all started building in my head. It took a little extra effort to convert a standup act into something for TV (that isn’t Last Comic Standing), but I think it paid off. Or maybe the script is crap and it has illusions of grandiosity of its own. Continue reading “Technology Gone Berserk”