Where’s a time machine when you need one?

I was checking out craigslist.org in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area to see what kinds of writing/editing jobs might be available. There was one for an “Electronic Publisher/Proofreader” posted by this company:

JPG & Associates, Inc.
“The Publications Professionals”

It looked intriguing, but I don’t think I’ll be applying because I don’t meet a lot of the qualifications:

    1. Advanced skills in MS Word (templates, book marks, hyperlinks, etc.), Adobe Acrobat, MS Visio.
    2. Experience working Documentum or other document management system.
    3. High attention to detail.
    4. Must be able to start end of May.
    5. Must be able to work on-site 8:00-5:00.
    6. Previous contract experience is preferred.

I know very little about the first two, but 3 and 4 disturb me. They want someone with high attention to detail who is also able to start working at the end of May. My problem? The ad was posted on June 12th. They want to hire a proofreader who apparently started working for them two weeks ago. If that’s what they’re looking for, maybe I should start working on my resume and list all the jobs I’m planning on having through 2009…

How to make a bad first impression

Seen on craigslist.org:

“Need an editor or writer to help create this year’s holiday letter to friends and family. I am an English teacher with loads of editing and writing experience. I’m reliable and affordable and I look forward to hearing from you!”

Either the English teacher needs help editing and writing a holiday letter or the English teacher needs help with his/her English…