Sadly, after the first episode, Scarlet and I have almost no popularity—nobody love us. All the other couples are getting all the attention on the various chat sites because… well, they’ve made names for themselves.
Bill is the V.P of the Dukes of Hazzard Fan Club and compares himself to Enos; Lauren has an I.Q. of 500, but can’t spell “TATTOO.”
Brad and Krystal: Brad is scoring with Erika.
Erika and Joe: Erika is scoring with Brad and Joe is the victim of their relationship. (Can’t say I blame everyone for feeling bad for the guy, either.)
Chuck and Caitilin: Chuck is “Dr. Nosebleed” according to one chat room.
Eric and Cheryl: “1942 is when Columbus sailed the ocean blue” and they left the house already.
Richard is… Richard and Mindi has been so very super-duper incredibly patient with him.
As for Scarlet and me… I make funny faces when she tries to teach me to dance. I think that was the most significant thing that happened between us during the first episode. And I find it incredibly sad that after watching the show, I sat back and thought objectively about how we didn’t get enough exposure on camera to develop personalities that could allow the viewers to love us, hate us or make them want to lose their collective lunches.
Still, there are still five episodes to go and you’ll be seeing us at least one more time coming up on Wednesday. And if you watched the promo for next week, you already know that when it comes to giving massages to five women in their bikinis, “This is great!” If that doesn’t get people’s attention… maybe I’ll have to expose myself on camera.
