Why, yes, I love eating twigs and berries!

Okay, maybe this summer camp isn’t that extreme—we use cabins that have running water—but it definitely lacks the comforts of home: no air conditioning, no soft mattresses and… no internet access. Crap.

Actually, I’m not too concerned, given that this will be my 30th year of attendance. Yep, three decades. God, I feel old… But I’ve had fun since I started as a camper at age 5, became a teen counselor at 15 (I think—it’s been a couple years) and into my 20s (our definition of “teen” is a little loose when it comes to camp counselors) and now I’m the Waterfront Director, playing lifeguard during free swim and instructor during swimming lessons. Of course, that also means I have a higher potential of melting or spontaneously combusting since I sit on a dock while kids swim in the lake, but I’ve had plenty of years learning to deal with sunburn as well. (Hint: Shawn has had many days when he could have qualified for a wet t-shirt contest.)

I’m just mentioning this because I’m heading to IOGT Camp tomorrow after class so we can start setting things up for the official start on Saturday. Thankfully, I won’t have to study for a final exam during camp this year, so I won’t feel guilty about passing out on my cot once in a while. (Even if my skin doesn’t melt off, sitting in the hot sun for a couple hours a day gets draining after a while.)

The lack of internet access there means I won’t be able to write any blog posts for a while and also won’t be able to approve comments that look like spam. If you’re going to write something douchey, you’ll have to do it in plain English. Sorry, internet trolls.

So that’s it for now. I hope you all enjoy your summers and do all sorts of fun activities that put smiles on your faces and give you plenty of happy memories. I plan on doing the same, though that could be difficult if I spontaneously combust. In that case… hey, I’ll never have to take another final exam! I’m smiling already!

IOGT Camp aftermath

Yesterday, I finally got home after a week and a half at camp. It’s always a little tough getting back into the swing of things at home, which is probably why I haven’t tried posting anything until tonight.

Incidentally, there were several times when I thought yesterday was Tuesday. I don’t know why, especially since I’ve had classes on Tuesday nights for the last three months. I ended up having to take an Accounting exam on the Tuesday of camp, too, which made the first half of camp more interesting.

For one thing, it was a lot easier to get the kids to be quiet the first night. Last year, they kept whispering to each other until about 2:00 in the morning. This year, I told them all that I needed to study for my exam and I wouldn’t be able to focus if they were making noise. I got some ridiculous protests like “But I talk in my sleep!” That’s when I busted out an angry (and truthful) “These are not a good few days to be testing my patience!” They got quiet a lot faster than last time.

As it turned out, all the nighttime studying and lack of naps paid off: I scored a 95% on the exam. Along with e-mailing me my score, the professor added a note of thanks for taking the class seriously. Mind you, he was the second instructor—he taught managerial accounting, whereas the first guy taught financial accounting—so he doesn’t know that the 95% should help compensate for the two exams I took earlier in the course.

I know that you (and the campers) may be wondering about the “lack of naps” comment. It’s true, I like to take naps during my free time there. Part of that is because I don’t sleep very well (me + cot + not-long-enough sleeping bag ? restful nights). Another part is because I’m the lifeguard and sitting on the dock in the hot sun for big chunks of time saps a lot of energy out of my body. When they start asking to go swimming half an hour early… HA HA HA! No.

Ironically, we always go to a waterslide on Thursday, which was the day it was cold and drizzly. That’s good for keeping lines short for the slides. Hell, it kept the lifeguard staff short—we outnumbered them 5-to-1 when we got there and they eventually abandoned the rapids ride completely (a bunch of short curving slides between splash pools). However, the cold and drizzle chased us inside for lunch and eventually led us to leave a couple hours early.

Lessee… there was one night I was glad I have some movies on my laptop. We had some nasty weather coming our way, so everyone headed for shelter to wait out the storm. I’m sure a lot of parents can confirm this: getting a bunch of kids together can get noisy. Trust me, they get noisier when they’re in a room where there’s very little space to move (and the enclosed walls probably didn’t help). Thankfully, I had brought my laptop to the shelter and we all started watching the movie “Up” until the weather let up a little. That’s when everyone left the building, started getting ready for bed and then the power went out.

I guess a couple branches fell down on a nearby power line, so we had electricity again early the next afternoon, but camp is a lot more interesting when you have to take measures like putting road cones on top of toilet lids as a reminder to not use them because there’s no power for the water pump. It turns out that pouring a whole bunch of water into a toilet bowl really quickly will make it flush itself, so we filled a large barrel with lake water and put it next to the outdoor bathrooms (vs. the ones in the cabins).

I’m sure there’s plenty more to write about, but I’m a little rusty after so much time away from writing. I suppose I could have written something while I was there, but seriously, that would have cut a big chunk out of my nap time.
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Okay, a couple more notes: thanks to aloe and occasionally wearing a t-shirt while sitting on the dock or teaching swimming lessons, I’m only peeling a little bit on the top of my left ear, my nose and the back of my neck/shoulders. Given that I didn’t put on any suntan lotion while setting up camp—putting out buoys and the swim area rope—that’s a lot of thanks.

And setting up the swim area was an adventure. We had about an hour to put out the buoys, which was a snap since Brent had made anchors for all four of them that stay in the water year-round. He attached a line to three of them, so after finding the first, we followed the line and then approximated the location of the fourth compared to the other three. Before Brent made his anchors and everything, putting out buoys could take an hour or two—this year, it was closer to twenty minutes.

When working that evening, the water was really smooth. Not so much when trying to put out the rope. It’s a small lake, but we had… three foot swells with white caps? When you’re trying to loop a rope over the top of a high-floating buoy to mark the swim area, that doesn’t help much. There were a few times when I wrapped my legs around the buoy and reached up to tilt it toward me—the waves were still going over my head. At some point, a wave rocked one of the buoys hard enough to give me a bruise on the inside of my right thigh. And at another point, a wave hit me smack in the side of the head and it took six hours to get the water out of my ear. Needless to say, that morning was an adventure.

Stop, go, stop, go, stop, go…

It’s almost time for summer camp and I think I’ve got everything packed that I need. (Thankfully, I have a safety net—commonly known as my parents—so if I’ve left anything important behind, they can bring it when they come to visit in a couple days.)

Note that I may or may not have internet access there, which means there probably won’t be any new blog entries until next weekend. (It also means a shitload of e-mails to delete when I get home, grumble grumble grumble…)

There’s also a distinct likelihood that without much time in the sun this summer, I could hold a yellow pepper and a cabbage in my hands and look like a beet salad. Or if I stack them up under my chin, a stoplight. If I cover up most of my face, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer! You get the idea.

But those are minor details. The truth is that I’m about to spend the next week and a half at camp as the waterfront director (note the discussion about turning red above) and it’s gonna be a lot of fun. With that said, I better go through my stuff again. Not that I’ll be able to find anything at this point since I just threw a lot of it into a couple bags, but I’d rather not call home tonight with a plea to bring clean underwear.

Lubricated by Love

We always have a brief church service at Good Templar Camp during the summer. The year before, the teen counselors pick quotes from a multitude of books that they have to read during church the next time around. (Naturally, there are kids who make it to camp one year, then have to miss the next year “because I got a job”… the things people will say to get out of public speaking.) But there are books with Bible verses, poetry and various “meditations of the day” like this one:
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1 Corinthians 13: “Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love” (v. 13).

A lubricant makes most things work better because it cuts down the friction at the points of contact. Oil is a lubricant. Powdered graphite is a lubricant. Love is a lubricant.

Love is a lubricant? Correct! At the places in life where misunderstandings build and tensions mount and hurts fester and anger rumbles—at all those places, love helps life function better, without explosion after explosion. Love makes it possible to forgive, to overlook, to understand, to let it pass. Love cuts down harmful friction at the points of human contact! *
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There’s more to the quote, but I’ve usually got a case of the giggles by this point. Think about it: love = lubricant. Just imagine what some song lyrics would sound like with such a religiously positive change… And hey, God wants you to say it!

Queen, One Year of Love: Just one year of lubricant is better than a lifetime alone. (Sounds like those two would go hand-in-hand, really… Ba-dum-bum, ching! Thanks, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip your wait staff!)

Sarah McLachlan, Ice Cream: Your lubricant is better than ice cream. (Mmmm, tastes like chocolate…) Your lubricant is better than chocolate. (Okay, if your lubricant is better than shoes, I think a lifetime alone will be just fine.)

Tonic, Love A Diamond: Lubricate a man who lubricates a diamond… (I think this is either appreciating a guy who just proposed or playing with glass dildos…)

Barenaked Ladies, In The Drink: I wanna drink your lubricant. (Goes down smooth and easy…)

Jewel, U & Me = Love: If you let me be me, I’ll be better than your best dream, U & M-E spells L-U-B-R-I-C-A-N-T to me. (Is it getting warmer in here or is it just me?)

Sheryl Crow, Where Has All The Love Gone: (Insert your own joke here.)

* Quote from p. 21, Bible Readings for Teenagers, Charles S. Mueller.