Tag: Marie Porter

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Marie Porter doesn’t make Canadian porn

This is an issue that came up on Facebook yesterday and my friend Marie is justifiably pissed.

The Young Turks has a page that shares a multitude of links to articles on their website, www.tytnetwork.com. I don’t want to misrepresent the organization, so I’m copying and pasting the “About” section directly from their page:
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Plot Outline
Young Turk (n), 1. Young progressive or insurgent member of an institution, movement, or political party. 2. Young person who rebels against authority or societal expectations. (American Heritage Dictionary)

The Young Turks is The Largest Online News Show in the World.

The Young Turks (Winner – Best Political Podcast & Best Political News Site of 2009) were the first original talk show on Sirius satellite radio and the first live, daily webcast on the internet. But that is not the revolution.

We are a rare show that combines all of the news that people care about in one place. We are not afraid to talk about politics and entertainment and sports and pop culture. But that is not the revolution either.

The real revolution is in daring to be honest with people. We dont patronize our viewers or lie to them. We have real conversations and deliver the news honestly.
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In reading that description, the problem isn’t that they’re lying so much as misrepresenting something they used for one of their posts. It’s got a header with three swimsuit models and has a link that sends you to an article called “Canada Wants More Canadian Porn”.

Note that if you click the link above, it goes to their Facebook post and not the article itself. That’s because 1) I don’t want to drive any more traffic to their website, and 2) they don’t use Marie’s picture on their own site, just on Facebook.

Theoretically, those three pictures could have come from anywhere on the Internet. Hell, they could have come from the swimsuit issue of “Sports Illustrated”. (Actually, it’s been a while since I read the swimsuit issue, but the Canadian models might be covering up too much for SI’s standards.) But the pictures didn’t come from just anywhere on the Internet. The middle picture in the header came from Marie’s website.

For those of you who want objective proof, I’ve got two pictures. The first is the post from The Young Turks page with the header on it. The second is from the Queen of Spandex website. I was tempted to take a big screen shot that showed a lot of women and men in swimsuits (rawr…), but decided that I should stick with the picture that they (shouldn’t have) used—it’s on the left side of the page about halfway down.

Take a look at the three women in the header...
Take a look at the three women in the header…
Yes, this is swimming weather in Canada.
This looks like a non-cropped version of the middle picture, doesn’t it?

This could have been a non-issue. Marie Porter does not want herself nor her swimsuit model to be associated with pornography, Canadian or otherwise. If The Young Turks took the post down or changed the header, problem solved. It would be the right thing, it would be the decent thing, it would be the smart thing, but they’ve done nothing. It’s still there and she’s still pissed.

Then again, one of the definitions of “Young Turk” is “young person who rebels against authority or societal expectations.” Marie may want to start searching for a lawyer now.

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An odd choice of footage from MasterChef

“It’s boarding school pudding at best” followed by a thumbs-down and a raspberry.

“Wow.”
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That brief exchange between Marie Porter and Joe “Weaselly Little Shit” Bastianich was the full extent of her fifteen minutes of reality TV fame (unless she still hasn’t learned her lesson). And no, she hasn’t abandoned the nickname “Joey Coattails”, but as you’ll note in the video below, she prefers calling Joe a “weaselly little shit” now:

Seriously, though, I’m really confused as to why the producers decided to include that clip in the episode. Yes, it was Joe acting like a douche, but it just doesn’t seem to fit the character “Joe” who normally appears on the screen (at least according to my very limited viewing experience). If I’m misreading something here, please point it out because I’m just confused.

Joe’s rejection: They didn’t show him giving the death stare or sneering or spitting Marie’s mango mojito upside-down cake (instructions in the video) into the sink. It was just “It’s boarding school pudding at best,” then thumbs-down with the raspberry. Given that Joe is a judge on MasterChef, I assume the producers want him to look like a sophisticated restaurateur and winery owner… do sophisticated people normally show their disapproval by giving food the raspberry?

“Raspberry? I hate raspberry! Only one man would dare give me the raspberry… and he’s a weaselly little shit!” (My apologies to Mel Brooks for writing that.)

Marie’s response: “Wow.” I could see that interpreted in two ways, the first of which is “I can’t believe he doesn’t like my cooking.” The second (and much more likely in my mind) is “I can’t believe such a pompous, overbearing person would make such a childish, immature gesture.”

Hence, my confusion. It doesn’t seem like that five seconds of footage fits within what I’ve seen of Joe’s normal behavior on that show. “Boarding school pudding at best”? Exceptionally douchey. I can imagine him saying that to his mother (especially since she’s the one who put him through boarding school).

But the raspberry? Who does that? Little kids, that’s who. Joe acted like a little kid. Did the producers think putting that one insult on TV was worth damaging his supposedly intimidating bad-ass reputation? Or maybe people in the editing booth decided to commit an act of sabotage because they think Joe is a weaselly little shit, too.

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Joey Coattails is [cut, paste] a great guy!

The first episode of MasterChef 4 is coming up in less than 24 hours and I’m a little concerned on Marie’s behalf. Not that they’ll show her doing anything uncouth—if they show something on the screen, well, she did it intentionally. No, I’m a little concerned about the editing process.

I’ve told people plenty of times in person, but I’m not sure if I’ve written about it on here or not: on a reality show (at least in my case), they can pull you off to the side and ask you questions for over an hour, then maybe use a three-second sound clip that the producers really like. Sometimes it can be longer than three seconds; sometimes they’ll use multiple sound clips; sometimes they shuffle the order around to create more drama and suspense.

And that’s why I’m worried. If Marie complimented or expressed admiration toward either of the chefs, the producers might put that next to a sentence using Joe’s name to make it sound like she thinks he’s awesome. If that happens… she’s got a lot of knives in her kitchen and I imagine she can learn to cut and paste body parts pretty easily.

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Next on FOX: Two Chefs and a Douche

I’m afraid to report that another of my friends who had avoided reality TV up to this point has come over to the Dark Side. First me, then Stephanie Link, now Marie Porter. Why won’t these people learn from my example?!

I guess in Marie’s case, it’s a little more understandable. The show wasn’t just “live in a house and try to win a bajillion dollars.” She auditioned for MasterChef. I’ve had limited exposure to fine cuisine—I’m quite fond of mac ‘n’ cheese out of the box—but she’s probably the most masterful chef I’ve ever known, so it seemed like a reasonable decision.

Part of her motivation was to win the money, but another (probably larger) part was the exposure. She’s already written several cookbooks and the results of her recipes that I’ve tasted have been ultra-yummy. Unfortunately, the market is extremely saturated. There are sooooooo many cookbooks on the shelves that it’s almost impossible to know which ones are good: “Norwegian Tailgate Grilling… Nigerian Bagels… 501 Ways to Cook Goat Testicles!”

Marie is fairly well established on a local level, but without a wide-scale “fan base”, her books still get smothered among all of the sucky ones. Competing on MasterChef and showing a national audience what she’s capable of doing… BAM! Huge fan base! Now people everywhere know her name and can seek her out.

Marie has heard stories about what goes on behind the camera dozens of times. Talking to Stephanie and me, she already knew that “reality TV” isn’t reality: it’s what the audience sees according to editing and producers’ decisions. Still, it was the proverbial “opportunity of a lifetime.” She’s probably satisfied with just the one opportunity. Continue reading “Next on FOX: Two Chefs and a Douche”

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Let William Shatner Eat Cake!

I’m not sure how many details I can provide at the moment—I just made a Facebook page about this and I’m feeling kinda burned out. The short version: William Shatner is coming to the Twin Cities to perform a show at the Orpheum Theater on March 15th (“Shatner’s World: We Just Live In It”). Marie Porter is a huge fan and also an excellent cake designer. Click on her name under “My special love-monkeys” and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Since he’s coming to the Cities, she wants to make a cake for him (she hasn’t decided on a design yet, but it probably won’t be a Klingon Warbird—wouldn’t want to freak out Captain Kirk when the cake arrives).

Making a Facebook page worked to get Betty White to host Saturday Night Live, so I decided to do the same thing and see if that helps the cause. Thus, the Let William Shatner Eat Cake page. If it works, I’ll write about it and post some pictures on here. If it doesn’t… wouldn’t be the first time I’ve wasted a couple hours on Facebook with nothing to show for it.