(My apologies about the tardiness of this entry—I’ve been having computer problems and had to steal someone else’s to write this.)
Have you ever banged your head against a rock repeatedly? I have. (You can probably tell. And not just because of all the dents.) Banging your head against a rock hurts like hell, much like when you try to explain simple concepts like “Money isn’t everything” to someone who… well, who does believe that money is everything.
You’re going to be on a ranch, doing ranch-like activities and you go for the cutesy, yet painfully uncomfortable boots? But at least Megan was willing to run in them. Has Cecille never seen an athletic female running along the beach with a light layer of sweat glistening in the sunlight? Maybe she hasn’t if she gets her skin color from a spray can, I dunno, but personally, hot and sweaty female bodies get me all worked up. Rawr…
Oh, great. Now I need to head out to the ranch and stand in line behind Scooter and Niels so I can hose myself down. I just hope no one will be playing it in slow motion with porno music in the background while I’m doing it.
My dad grew up on a farm and he wanted to make a few comments about cows. First, if a cow rips ass, it lifts its tail or moves it to the side or something. When Megan stepped back and started gagging, it wasn’t because of a sound effect added by the editors. Second, he says that massaging a cow’s udder will make the milking go faster and more smoothly. Kinda like starting your engine and letting it run for a minute before shifting gears, except cars generally don’t have white, liquidy stuff shooting out the back while you’re driving.
I wonder if Megan and Scooter played football when they were younger because when they were tracking down the sheep, those were some pretty impressive open-field tackles.
“You might be a redneck if someone yells ‘Ho down!’ and your girlfriend hits the floor!” Make your own jokes here.
I wonder what it would have been like for everyone to see those opening interviews and realize how much they’d changed during the course of more than a month. Two weeks for me… not nearly as shocking. Especially since I still sit in the corner and drink punch when I go to dances in middle school.
“You’ve all changed and I haven’t because I’m perfect! Neener, neener, neener! Ptpbptpbptbtpptb!!!”
Hearing Mike’s question: $1000 of TV time. Watching the person think: $3000 of TV time. Seeing Scooter’s eyes bugging out so many times during the elimination: priceless.
I really, really wonder how embarrassed Nate was while Cecille was hanging on his elbow and explaining “their” team motto: “You can take the blonde off the ranch, but you can’t take the bikini off the blonde.” Hell, I wonder how embarrassed he was in general about her attitude for the last couple weeks.
And three cheers to Nate for sneaking out the window to pounce on Jennylee during her final interview! And if he did sneak out, that’s the route he took—there are a lot of people to walk through between a room on the second floor and the front driveway.
