S5, Episode 6: A hunk-a hunk-a burnin’ love

If you don’t mind, I’d like to extend last week’s theme one more time. Back on June 22nd, I posted a saying of the day: Loose lips sink ships. So do large holes in the hull. Well…

SHIPWRECK: Loose lips sink ships. In this case, it seems they were Randi’s lips.

And the flashbacks keep a-comin’. The showdown at the Joe. K. Corral brought back some not-so-great memories of the outdoor challenge, primarily the ones of Scarlet yelling at me. In her case, the yelling was somewhat justified—she had a reason to be pissed off at me. Randi… not so justified. Going off on a tear because Joe wouldn’t let her play a stupid joke was asinine and immature. With that kind of behavior, they should have changed her title from “The Navy Diva” to “The Navy Brat.”

Then there was my being pushed to the brink. Scarlet had asked me to “go look for firewood with her” so she could yell at me away from everyone else. I folded my arms as she kept going and going and going… finally, she paused for a moment and I asked, “Are you done?” When my family heard that on TV in that tone of voice, they knew I was at my breaking point. Thankfully, Scarlet’s response was, “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Had she started yelling again, I’m not sure what I would have done, but it wouldn’t have been pretty. I don’t think I would have lashed out physically, but she probably would have received a dose of her own medicine plus a little extra to grow on.

And then there’s Joe in a similar situation. He folded his arms as Randi kept going and going and going… I don’t know what his threshold is for bitchiness, but I guess when you reach it… [insert spitting noise here]. Not that it improved the situation—far from it—but it had a much more impressive effect on her than “You will rue the day you met me.” Actions speak louder than words and loogies apparently speak pretty frickin’ loud.

Before I go any further, I’d like to tell you a story about the house being “haunted.” In this case, it means the house is “filled with bored crew members who need to get their jollies somehow.” We had a similar problem one night, though it was limited to rattling against the windows (probably courtesy of little rocks being thrown at them from outside). Some of the girls were getting freaked out and the noises kept coming. Once they calmed down and stopped being scared, the noises stopped as well. Coincidence? Maaaaaybe…

Another flashback: Watching Leticia trying to hook up the fire hose was like seeing Scarlet struggling to loosen the lug nuts on the car tire all over again. She was doing so well—seriously, she was in front up until that point—and then the tire iron simply wouldn’t turn. (If that ever happens again, I’ll remember to tell her, “Put it level to the ground and stomp on it!”) And as our gracious host was providing commentary, he told the viewing audience that Scarlet was trying to turn the tire iron the wrong way. Oh, I was sorely tempted to provide some of my own commentary at him…

After looking at that giant pile of trash, I think I’d prefer the smell of napalm in the morning.

And what the hell was with the “arithmetic” challenge, anyway? When the geeks (and Leticia) were being firefighters, they could jump onto that inflatable bulls-eye (or almost land on the pavement next to it) and marvel at what they did. They feel good about themselves, gain confidence, think about kicking fire ass and taking fire names, etc. What could the girls possibly get out of sifting through garbage? “I’m so proud of myself for not puking while I was digging for bottles!” After all, not everyone can complete their challenges without blowing chunks. Or so I’m told.

Flimsy reasoning for sending someone to the elimination may sound like a load of crap, but it’s better than using a dartboard.

“Greg, please understand that I take no pride in going to the elimination room with you.” Why is that so hard for Randi to believe? Joe is friends with Greggy. It’s her ass that he wouldn’t mind kicking to the curb. And if she’s made such a drastic change, why doesn’t she sound any different? She’s still as loud and belligerent as when she was feuding with DraculAmber—the only difference I could see between the “earlier” and “later” clips was that her hair didn’t look like she had a bunch of balloons clinging to it anymore.

So after watching the entire episode, I’d once again like to reference an older entry where I questioned whether Randi had any virtues since she lacked humility. I’ll give her credit for supporting Greggy, but beyond that, I didn’t see much of anything.

Wanna know how I judge growth on that show? Listen to the exit interviews. The ones who learned something during their stay always talk about how they changed. For example, Greggy felt more comfortable with himself and was thrilled about his new-found confidence. On the other hand, the ones who didn’t learn anything say that they helped everyone else change. You may have noticed that Randi placed herself firmly in the latter category. (Incidentally, so did Lauren from Season 1, which didn’t surprise me a bit.)

And after reading this entire entry, I realized just how much of it revolves around Randi. I imagine that’s the way she looks at the world, so if she ever reads this, she’ll probably ignore what I wrote and simply bask in the attention I gave her. Dammit…