Trying to fight against the soul-sucking nature of my job today, my body went through the motions while my brain took a sharp turn and roamed the countryside, thinking up thoughts that needed to be written down and shared for those who might appreciate a bit of insanity that slips into the workday from time to time.
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If duct tape fixes everything, why won’t it get the crap off the wall that the last strip of duct tape left behind?
If wishes were fishes, imagine what kinds of animals hopes and dreams would be.
If Iceman got cocky, would people say he had a big pair of snowballs?
If someone tells you, “Talk to the hand!”, use sign language so it understands.
If advice can go in one ear and out the other, why can’t anyone else hear the voices in my head?
“You can do whatever you want.” I want to grow a third arm so I can count to 15 on my fingers. I can’t, so if I ever need to get to 12 or 13, I have to take off my shoes and socks and no one wants that.
Your last one reminds me of the observation that the theory of evolution CAN’T be true– otherwise mothers would have half a dozen arms by now 😉