It’s perhaps the most used and abused type of website known to all mankind. Okay, maybe not that Amazonian tribe that’s never had contact with the outside world. I’m not kidding—when a helicopter flew overhead, they shot arrows at it—so they probably don’t have wireless Internet access there.
But if you don’t know what a blog is, don’t feel guilty. After sending out a survey to a bajillion imaginary people, they responded with some interesting definitions that… well, see how many of them sound right to you.
1. An abridgment of the term “web log.”
2. A virtual forum that can provide insight to other people about your life.
3. A virtual forum that can provide insight to other people about their lives.
4. A virtual forum that can tell the ignorant masses they should already know the insight that it won’t bother to provide because it’s so obvious.
5. Leave me alone, I’m playing World of Warcraft.
6. It’s what I did to your mom last night.
7. 42
8. An appetizer that’s usually listed on the menu after the nachos. Mmmmm, nachos…
9. A means of venting.
10. A means of expressing emotional pain and anguish in an attempt to show all you insensitive bastards what real suffering is.
11. A means of bitching and moaning for whiny babies who want to make the rest of the world feel guilty because they have such sad, pathetic lives.
12. Shoo! I’m playing World of Warcraft!
13. The second-leading cause of hemorrhoids in adults over 95.
14. The third-leading cause of hemorrhoids in children under 6.
15. The fourth-leading cause of hemorrhoids in small woodland creatures [test group limited to non-rabid creatures because their sharp, pointy teeth inside their small, foamy mouths can gnaw off your fingers and toes if you’re not paying attention].
16. A way to show your individuality by expressing your creativity.
17. A way to show your conformity by getting a blog in the first place.
18. A website where you tell anonymous strangers stories that may make them laugh.
19. A website where you tell anonymous strangers stories that may make them cringe.
20. A website where you tell anonymous strangers stories that may make them search for something they can use to gouge out their eyes after reading them.
21. Step 7 for members of Chocolate Pudding Wrestlers Anonymous.
22. I said I’m playing World of Warcraft! Get out of my room!
23. A serious hazard for your computer if you read one at work and laugh so hard that coffee shoots out your nose and splatters all over the place. (It burns!!!)
24. A serious hazard for your employment status if you read one at work and laugh that hard…
25. Yet another way for me to feel like I’m being productive while procrastinating about cleaning my room.
As always, the punchline is at the end of the joke…
Get going on your room!! 😛