Happy 2 to the 5th power-th birthday!

2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 = 32 (unless my math is off, in which case someone should take my junior high math team trophy for 4th place in state and smash it 2 to the 5th power-th times). That number was really the most special part about it. Well, that plus my first time going dumpster diving.

My mom has been doing a lot of cleaning around the house. And when I say “cleaning”, I mean “throwing out lots of random crap that we don’t want or need.” Consequently, there have been a multitude of garbage bags that she’s asked me to toss into a local dumpster. That in itself generally isn’t a big deal. It’s only when she realizes there’s a bag in the corner that should have been tossed, which means there’s a bag in the dumpster that isn’t supposed to be there. Yeah, that’s a big deal.

So there we were, driving off into the distance at 10:00 at night—after all, we had to go out to a restaurant for my birthday dinner. I don’t really need a party with gifts and balloons, but those little ice cream sundaes with candles on them? They’re like heaven with whipped cream on top. Upon arriving at the dumpster, we turned on the headlights, grabbed a flashlight to shine inside and went digging. (Technically, I’m tall enough that I wasn’t actually diving in there, but grant me some creative license, wouldja?)

Thankfully, only a few more things had been added since I’d made my initial drop. Even more thankfully, none of those things tried to bite me or emit noxious fumes to knock me to the ground, twitching and foaming at the mouth. Nope, I just lifted a few things, saw the bag that shouldn’t have been there, switched it with the bag to throw out and headed home.

Admittedly, it wasn’t terribly exciting—not much of a story for the grandkids—but at least I can tell people that I have gone dumpster diving. On my birthday. After eating an ice cream sundae. And I never felt the urge to heave it back up into the dumpster 2 to the 5th power-th times, either. My junior high math teacher would be proud.