OPTIMIST — “The glass is half full.”
PESSIMIST — “The glass is half empty.”
REALIST — Drinks the water and gets on with his life.
SURREALIST — “Whoa. It’s an octopus.”
IDEALIST — “Water! Nectar of the gods!”
CAPITALIST — “So, how much can we get for selling this?”
ENVIRONMENTALIST — “Put the glass down! The water is filled with chemicals! Let’s tie ourselves to trees in protest!”
ACTIVIST — “Damn the man! Break the glass! Show them we mean business!”
PACIFIST — “Do what you want with the water, just don’t hurt me.”
ME — “Screw water, I need something with caffeine. I have a 20-page paper due tomorrow morning and I haven’t started it yet.”
You are. And that is enough.
