My mom was looking for a new car over the course of the last week, visiting different dealerships and checking out various brands, models, etc. As many of you may know, car salesmen are renowned for being sneaky and manipulative to get more money out of you. (Many of you may also know that law school graduates are soulless creatures who are sneaky and manipulative when they use their blogs to get all of your money… but I don’t want to reveal my evil plans just yet, Mr. Bond.) My point is that during my parents’ extended shopping spree, there were several times when my dad took a load of car salesman bull and threw it right back in their faces. He’s awesome.
I want to brag for a moment just because it might run in the family. Many years ago, I was the one cruising around with Mom looking for a new vehicle. We got different prices at different dealerships, then arrived to one place where the salesman was… well, he was kinda nasty.
Eventually, he reached a point of “This is as low as the price goes.” No more haggling, it couldn’t be sold for less and if another dealership gave us a number lower than that, they were lying. I responded, “Well, if they were lying, then we’ll go to one of the other places that offered us a lower price.” He was not amused.
This time, it was my dad’s turn. Once they settled on the type of car, they started looking for the best place to buy it. Mom is kinda short and wanted running boards along the side that you can step on to get into the vehicle. Those can cost a pretty big chunk of change, so Dad and the dealer were talking back and forth about the final price. They eventually reached numbers that were $95 apart. Ninety five dollars. And neither of them would budge. Dad suddenly got a phone call from a friend, so they checked to make sure the price would still be available for another few days and walked out.
By driving about an hour south of where we live instead of north towards the downtown area, Mom and Dad found a dealership that quoted them a price several hundred dollars less than the place they visited earlier, which is a lot different than $95 more than what they wanted to pay. They called the previous salesman and told him about the lower price, at which point he offered to talk to the manager and see if he could get them a better deal. It was too late, of course, but that didn’t stop him.
He went ahead and tried another tactic: “What about my family?” What about his family?! What is it about his family that should make my parents want to pay more for a car than they have to? Personally, I fail to see how anyone would be obligated to put food in another person’s mouth after the guy blew a sale, but if it’d make him happy, Mom and Dad could send him a gift certificate for a restaurant using some of the money they saved.
Upon making the final purchase, the newer salesman was writing everything up and then asked if they wanted the extended warranty. Paranoia abounds, so it’s always good to have extended warranties. You never know when your engine block might crack, you get rear-ended or maybe even struck by lightning… again. Sure, that kind of thing could happen within the first six months that you own the car, but if your basic warranty runs out and then it spontaneously combusts, you’re outta luck, my friend!
Well, my parents didn’t want the extended warranty. The odds of them being struck by lightning… again… are pretty slim, so it’s not necessary. The salesman kept pressing the issue, so finally Dad turned and said, “I thought your cars weren’t supposed to break down.” Honestly, can you think of a good way to respond to that and still maintain your dignity (assuming you hadn’t lost it already)? Damn, my dad is good…
So now there’s a new car in the garage, we’re satisfied and many car salesmen are not. What’s worse, we drove the car when we went out for dinner tonight, ate a big meal and never thought about any of their families.
