I’ve been playing a game on Facebook recently called Vampire Wars. (I humbly ask that the three of you who read this don’t decide to join Facebook just so you can be my “friends”—I try to limit the number to people I know and associate with, not just “my faithful readers who I love whole bunches (but not quite that much)”). One of the fun things you can do is attack other vampires in the game and make your victims hate the virtual you, which may carry over to the real you if they ever find your name and address. Claws, fangs, baseball bats… they all draw blood, bitch!
But there was one vampire I was attacking who… it was odd. The game will glorify your evil efforts by declaring, “You WON the fight!” You know, just in case “You won the fight!” doesn’t seem glorious enough. It then says how much damage your opponent did to you and how much damage you did in return. This particular vampire… I attacked him multiple times. During a couple of those fights, he dished out negative damage.
I would attack with 97 hit points left, I “WON the fight!” and suffered -1 damage—my hit points were now at 98. It was like I was being attacked by someone who had Band-Aids at the ends of his claws, patching up my wounds every time he took a swing. That doesn’t sound very evil, does it? Nor does “You TRIED TO KILL SOMEONE WHO PERFORMED A GOOD DEED FOR YOU DURING the fight!” sound very glorious.
I felt awestruck, amused, thankful… not enough of the last one to actually send a “Thank you” message. For all I know, the guy’s vampire was trying to trick me into giving up my name and address so he could deliver a Louisville Slugger of Hate in person and I’m pretty sure those suckers don’t cause negative damage.
