Lessons I should have learned in a hot tub

While lounging in the hot tub out in L.A. with all the beauties and geeks over four years ago (yes, it’s been that long…), the question went around of what we all look for in a partner. In the case of the girls, most of them looked for two particular qualities:

“He definitely has to be spontaneous.”
“Trustworthy.”
“Trustworthy.”
“Spontaneous…”

Ummm… one out of two ain’t bad?

Looking at the blog now, it’s been… almost a month and a half since I’ve written an entry. The last part of that is due to time spent at summer camp without Internet access (“My kingdom for ten minutes on Facebook!”), but part is due to a lack of spontaneity. It’s not that I haven’t had ideas of things to write about—I simply haven’t put fingers to keyboard and typed them out.

That seems to be a running theme in my life sometimes: if I think about something deep enough and often enough, I get a similar feeling of accomplishment to that which I’d feel if I actually did it. I pondered writing about my 10th year college reunion at the end of May—I had stuff laid out in my head and had some idea of where to run with it—but I never sat down to write anything. The same thing happened at the end of June—I had something to reflect on that was worth an entry, but while ideas kept floating through my head about what to write, they never actually got written.

I think the “lack of spontaneity” in this case is more of a “need for deliberateness.” Perhaps I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing, but I want everything to sound just right. If I think things through a few times, I’ll be less likely to reedit the entry (and rereading, making more changes and reediting again…) before posting it on the blog. But at least this time around, I’m not as concerned about perfection. I want to lay things out just to say “My bad” and let you all know that I’m not dead yet. At least I don’t think so. If I am, well, that’d provide me with a much better excuse for a lack of spontaneity.