Dad doesn’t do The Twitter

I know, I know, I’ve been neglecting the blog again. That’s in part because Dad’s in the hospital again. He’s been in and out for a total of about 30 days since mid-November. As you can imagine, he’s getting tired of the place.

They readmitted Dad most recently because he wasn’t getting better since he left. He was still having trouble breathing, he was still retaining a lot of fluid, he was still in a-fib. The doctors thought that some of it would get better on its own; it didn’t. We waited for almost two weeks, which was really longer than we should have. When someone gets to the top of a long staircase and has to take a five-minute break to catch his breath… he didn’t want to go back, but knew he had to.

Among all of the other stuff they were pumping into Dad’s body, one was a medication that would hopefully get his heart back in sync. It was still beating way too fast and way too ineffectively. The heart normally works at about 50% efficiency, whereas Dad’s was somewhere in the 35-40% range. Much like other medications, this stuff didn’t work well enough, so they had to resort to cardioversion.

Basically, they put an electrode on his chest, one on his back and send a mild electric pulse through his body to shock his heart back into rhythm. When it was time to get him hooked up, Mom and I went to the visitors’ lounge to wait. Twenty minutes later, a doctor came in to tell us they were done. We walked into the room, I looked at the machine showing his heart rate and it had dropped from 99 to 69.

So now Dad is going for longer walks through the hospital and isn’t getting as winded as before, but he’s still retaining a lot of fluid. Not as much, but still a lot. Consequently, he’s still at the hospital and getting bored out of his mind. Go figure. He doesn’t like watching TV, he’s not a big reader, so most of what he does is sit around. He gets to talk to the occasional visitor and the nursing staff when they’re in the room, but there’s still a lot of sitting and not doing much.

A couple days ago, Mom and I were walking back to his room with him and a physical therapist. We were talking about things that might keep him busy and the therapist suggested getting him a Twitter account. I thought that would be a fun idea, but he was stuck in the hospital. What would he tweet about? So a few minutes later, I started thinking of some things and sent them out via my own Twitter account:

We just thought about getting my dad a Twitter account to keep him busy in the hospital, but what would he write?
Day 11: Still chillin’ in my recliner.
Thank God I have a toilet in my room, these new diuretics don’t give me much warning before I have to pee!
I’m the mayor of the Cardiac Rehab Unit on Foursquare!
Chillin’ in my recliner AGAIN.
Just got a sponge bath. Life is good.
Why does the food here taste so nasty?!?! Oh, wait, that’s right, it’s hospital food.
I’d kill for a nurse’s pair of scrubs right now. It’s way too breezy downstairs when I stand up.
I think my butt is starting to conform to the shape of my recliner seat.
If I was the big bad wolf, I’d huff and I’d puff and then I’d have to sit down to catch my breath.
#whatdohashtagsdo?
I love my wife very much. No, she didn’t steal my phone to pretend I wrote that. Thanks for being here for me.
Do I get a sticker for hitting the 2-liter mark for peeing today? This new diuretic is REALLY working.
Ok, so maybe there ARE a lot of things Dad could tweet if he felt so inspired…

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