“Jehovah’s Witnesses!”
“Culligan Man!”
“Opportunity!”
Jehovah’s Witnesses:
Yep, someone came to the house to talk and make sure I read my Bible and didn’t suffer from fear of the direction the world was moving (avoiding eye contact with strangers, locking the doors at night, huddling up in the corner while crying and sucking on my thumb…). That in itself was amusing because when I got back to the house after walking the dog, I saw a red minivan pull up across the street and this lady got out… so I locked the door.
She was talking at length about religion and how she grew up Roman Catholic, etc., but wanted to make sure I understood she wasn’t soliciting anything. Then she pulled out copies of Watchtower and awake magazines. “Ah ha! I have seen the light about what you’re doing here…” On the cover of awake was a caption of “Freedom From Fear,” but she opened it up to a page entitled something like, “The Greatness of Flour.” (She said there was something in there about honey as well, but didn’t bother looking for it.)
After saying I didn’t want the magazines… she kept talking. She even sounded like she felt guilty about continuing to talk, especially when the minivan came back to the house to wait for her. Our mutual escape arrived when the phone rang, so she thanked me for listening and I ran back inside. And the door locked behind me.
Culligan Man:
The guy who delivers the salt for our water softener usually comes into the house through the garage. Since the water softener is in the laundry room, that means he has to walk through my room to get there. I haven’t heard any critiques about all my crap lying in piles on the floor, but given that he had to come up through the front door this time, I’m guessing that’s an implied critique about all the crap lying in piles in the garage.
Opportunity:
I hope that one of these days, when the interview is over and she asks me what my plans are for the rest of the afternoon, I’ll give her an answer that includes “Did you have something in mind?” Crap…
