I was seizure-free for about 15 years. Now I’m definitely not anymore.
What’s strange is that even though I’m having them more frequently than in the past, they’ve been small ones. Simple partial seizures. I’ll see some random image in my head or be unable to put words together in a sentence because they get all scrambled up in my brain. Sometimes I just feel a surge that’s kinda like blood rushing into your ears. All very hard to explain, but all very minor compared to blackouts or full-blown grand mal seizures. In that sense, I’m extremely lucky.
After so many years, I finally needed to change my medication back in October, so the doctor and I decided to increase the dosage of one and leave the other. That hasn’t solved the problem: I had two more seizures over the weekend. Only the second one was noticeable because I was having a conversation and then all of the words kinda swirled away. Well, not all of the words—I was still able to sit there swearing under my breath.
So now it’s time for another change, but instead of only adjusting what I’m already taking, the doctor is prescribing Vimpat. I’d never heard of it before my last appointment, but… well, if the doc thinks it’ll work, I’m hoping he’s right. The part that’s a little bit concerning is that before starting this medication, I needed to get an EKG. (Regardless of what you may have heard from women in any of my prior relationships, I do in fact have a heart.)
I had the EKG done this morning and the doctor signed off on it, but the results showed an abnormality. No one elaborated, just said that I needed to make an appointment to come in later this week. Which thankfully means I’m probably not gonna drop dead from heart failure in the next few days.
More seizures and now possibly heart problems. But instead of panicking (which seems like a reasonable option at this point), I still feel very lucky. Things could be much worse. For one thing, I could drop dead from heart failure NOW! … Or maybe NOW! … How about NOW! Nope, still alive and still feeling very lucky.
I used to read your blog on the regular a long time ago, and I wandered back tonight. I ended up spending several hours binge reading. Your entries are as well written as ever.
I hope you’re still alive and still feeling very lucky.