That thought (among others) has been rolling around in my head since I got the email from WordPress.com about Facebook not allowing Publicize to automatically share blog entries on my profile anymore. That, plus a handful of videos on YouTube talking about the effects that social media can have on the brain. So it’s really been a question of why I want to put my writing on Facebook at all.
I mean, I posted a picture of Teresa’s engagement ring in part to show everyone we were engaged. But I also kept going back to Facebook to look at the picture and see how the number of likes and loves and all of the other reactions continued to climb. So Teresa and I were engaged and I felt… important? Popular? Special?
But when it comes to blog entries, that part isn’t really there. It’s not like I’m publishing a book or achieving some other impressive goal. This is just me writing and the only “like” I need is mine.
Of course, I could look at an even broader picture and ask why I’m publishing anything online in the first place. I can get my own approval if I’m writing something by hand or typing it on my laptop and never sharing it. So why? Do I crave acceptance that badly? Do I need people’s attention and approval that much? What makes me so special?
I guess part of it is that, yes, I do enjoy a bit of the spotlight. I like to see people’s reactions when I create something. It’s the same reason why I enjoy community theater: I get to enjoy being part of the cast of a show, make something come alive on stage that was originally just words on paper and I get to entertain people. I get to hear them laugh and gasp and applaud. And that happens because of me.
If you’re reading this, I doubt you’re having any of those three reactions. (If you’re applauding, you may have some explaining to do to the other people in the library…) But maybe you’re interested. Maybe you’re smiling. Maybe… just maybe… you’re entertained. And I guess that’s the other part of it.
It’s not just “I’m so special.” It’s “Everyone who’s reading this is so special—All three of them!—and I’d like to make their day a little brighter. A little greater. A little more special.” I could easily hoard all of my writing to myself, keep it tucked away so no one else could ever read it. Finish a story, essay, journal entry, blog post, look over it once or twice more for mistakes or typos, then throw it into the fire where no human eyes will ever see it again. Or just delete it if I wrote it on my laptop—throwing my laptop into the fire seems a bit extreme.
So I’m doing this for you, faithful readers! Because you’re so special! … Okay, it’s partly for me, too, but mostly for you, amirite? No? Drat…
When this popped into my head yesterday, I was thinking about writing gratitudes on Facebook instead of just my blog. I mean, Facebook is where it all started. There was a “gratitude challenge” going around where you were supposed to write down three things that made you feel grateful for five days. Oh, and you were supposed to tag three of your friends each day to get them to be more grateful, too. I was… someone’s second day, I think, so it’s nice to know I wasn’t an afterthought.
And so I did the challenge. Half of the challenge. I wrote three gratitudes a day, but never tagged anyone. I guess it was partly because I didn’t want to be a nuisance and partly because I didn’t want anyone to be an afterthought. Or forget someone altogether. That’d be an embarrassment, not a gratitude.
Then after those first five days… I kept going. For a month. 33 days with just one on the last day. 100 gratitudes. (Technically, I think it was only 99: I was grateful for pizza two days in a row. Because pizza.) And it felt good. I felt grateful, maybe other people felt grateful… the Facebook status messages were getting some likes, so I guess some people were entertained, too.
So that was part of the drive that kept me going for so long the last time and thus part of the reason I’m copying and pasting gratitudes from my blog to Facebook now: other people. It wasn’t just “Hey, I’m keeping them entertained!” It was also “Hey, they’re expecting another one today!” They provided a sense of accountability. Even if I felt a little tired or the clock was approaching midnight, I couldn’t just miss a day… the gratitudes were primarily for me, but knowing that other people were reading them was a reason to keep going. And feeling even more grateful about my life and the blessings I’ve been given. And pizza. Because pizza.
