There has been a large consensus that Richard’s behavior on Beauty and the Geek is merely an attempt to break into Hollywood (his ultimate plan is to be to become an actor, though given the choice and execution of his antics, becoming a “comedic” actor is questionable). I, on the other hand, plan to stick around here in Minnesota, though it seems I haven’t fully escaped the realm of movie cameras and spotlights. My “credits” have moved beyond my three-minute appearance on The WaZoo! Show—now they include working as an extra for an independent film.
It was basically a favor for a friend. Matthew Feeney sent out a mass e-mail because a film he’s involved with (Fall Into Me) was having a shoot on Thursday night from 7:00pm till Friday morning at approximately 7:00am. (It turned out to be closer to 4:30, but you get the idea…) They needed people who’d be willing to work the night shift to fill up the background. I figured, “Hey, I haven’t got a set schedule, why not help them out?”
Thus, at 6:30 on Thursday, I arrived at United Hospital in St. Paul and headed inside to the meeting room where the extras were gathered. Then I spent a lot of time sitting around. A lot. I was once again reintroduced to the term, “Hurry up and wait.” Get to the hospital on time, hang out for three or four hours, get brought over to one of the wings, stand in the general vicinity of the camera for maybe half an hour, then head back down to the meeting room.
I managed to get into the background twice (Hell yeah!), the latter being the waiting room in the… well, I don’t recall what office in the hospital it was. All I know is that I wasn’t allowed to look at the camera while they were filming and thus had to occupy myself by reading a really shitty magazine. Amazingly, I survived for a full hour, though it probably helped that part of the scene involved people punching each other. (I’m not sure exactly who was punching who or why—I was busy reading my shitty magazine.)
But the first time I escaped from the meeting room was the most fun. It was in a ward with beds, wheelchairs, urine pans… the whole nine yards. (I didn’t get to see the urine pan myself, but spilling its contents on someone was in the script.) Sure, all I did was walk across the hall in the background, but dammit, it was an essential part of the scene! …Okay, maybe not.
Still, I had no reason to complain. After all, I got to be married for an hour. I felt bad that we’d both lost our wedding rings, but maybe the hospital staff took them away because there was sensitive electrical equipment nearby, I dunno. I also dunno how we managed to kick something every time we crossed the hallway, but we apparently both had immaculate aim when it came to the background lights around the corner and the pole we were using.
It seemed that our troubles extended beyond our jewelry—she was hooked up to an IV… sorta. We walked across the hall with both of us holding the pole, but there was no tube between her and the saline pack and the pack itself was rather puny. We weren’t allowed to use a regular-sized pouch—you need to have a real medical problem to open one of those—so we hung up something that was slightly larger than my palm. Thankfully, even with the minimal supply of saline she wasn’t getting through her nonexistent IV tube, she didn’t die while we were in the hospital ward.
[As a quick aside, thanks for making the night a lot more fun, Katie. I’m disappointed that our marriage was annulled so shortly after it began, but I understand that working behind the camera for a landscaping show on HGTV takes priority over walking across the background of an independent film while dressed in a hospital gown. And by the way, you looked really sexy in those surgical slippers, too.]
So we wrapped a little after 4:30 and I headed back to the meeting room to help clean up a bit and say goodbye to a couple friends. Then it was time to jump into the car and drive home. I should say right now that I felt pretty wide awake as I pulled out of the parking lot. I’m used to keeping late hours on a regular basis, so even though I wasn’t on a caffeine buzz, I figured I’d be good to go. I went south across the river, drove past Cedar Avenue, no probbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Ummm… yeah. Turned out I was a little more tired than I thought. But I made it home, pulled into the driveway, headed downstairs to my room… and did I go to bed next? HA!! Don’t be stupid! I started writing this right away! I figured that since I was up and relatively conscious, I should get this out of the way before crashing and sleeping until about 4:00 this afternoon. Hey, any sort of sleep schedule I might have had once has been shot to hell, I don’t have anything planned on the calendar and no one’s got any major expectations for what I need to do, so I can hit the sack as long as I need, no probbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
