Talk about a double-whammy. Welcome once again to February 14th, “Remember That All Of Your Exes Are Probably Warm And Cozy In Someone Else’s Arms” Day! And because this is a weekday, you have a much smaller window of opportunity for getting drunk in your misery and vomiting all over yourself. Of course, that means there’s also a smaller window of opportunity for your exes to see you lying on the floor covered in your own vomit, thereby making them feel better about their decision to end the relationship.
For those who have loved and lost, I hope you all make it through the day without spontaneously bursting into tears every ten minutes because of your sorrows—it probably makes for a very uncomfortable working environment.
For those who have never loved at all, enjoy buying chocolaty goodness at a 50% discount tomorrow.
And for those of you in a good relationship with your significant other (or two or three others, not counting farm animals), Happy Valentine’s Day. You suck.
