The downfall of creativity

I cannot begin to explain how many times I’ve felt the urge to write in my blog and never done so. There are so many little stimuli out there, little things that poke my brain like a little kid poking a frog on the street with a stick to see if it’s alive. Yes, yes, as far as I can tell, my brain is quite alive. Quite active at times, but there have always been problems that exist between me and the final product of creativity.

The worst is simply a lack of time. Thought patterns aren’t restricted by speed limits—your brain can cruise at a million miles an hour, moving from idea to idea in random directions that even the best crackhead couldn’t manage on his highest high. He might be able to punch holes in the wall and not feel it, but thoughts aren’t restricted by walls, either…

So here goes my brain, cruising about (and no, it has no connection to my being a crackhead—my preferred cracks are jokes, dawns and asses). And as those thoughts move about, my fingers have to struggle to keep up. Ribbit ribbit ribbit… Yeah, that’s about how my brain is running at the moment. Not reflecting on the existence of a can of Dr. Pepper, but not necessarily more insightful. Damn, Dr. Pepper is good…

I have a folder here on my laptop simply entitled “Blog”. Towards the end of shawnbakken.com, I wasn’t terribly diligent in writing stuff on Word, then copying and pasting the final results. Consequently, when the website disappeared, so did a lot of those later entries. (Thankfully, people have hopped up to say, “Look at all these other sources! Your past ribbits are not completely lost!”) But aside from the entries that made it onto the blog and not in the folder, there are half-finished entries that my fingers never got around to finishing or entries that never got started in the first place. There have been spans of time where pretty much nothing has happened worth writing about. Then there have been spans of time where lots of stuff has happened, but none of it emerges from the depths of my brain into the eyes of all y’all for perusal.

For example, I spent the last weekend of April back in L.A. because FOX Reality Channel bought the rights to Beauty and the Geek and brought most of the cast from all three seasons back for supplemental interviews: “Why did you choose Brad and Krystal over Bill and Lauren?” “What was it like throwing up on the hillside?” “Was Richard as annoying as we thought he was during his interview last week?” And yes, they thought he was really annoying—he apparently had difficulty thinking up answers of his own. He kept asking people, “What should I say about that?” “Uh… we don’t know. We’re asking you because you were there.” (As another side note, the makeup lady said that most of the chicks from Season 3 were really into the “whore” look. That kinda sums up that group of catty females, doesn’t it?)

The next weekend, I was up in Toronto auditioning for a role in an independent flick that’ll be filming in September. (Dear “Anyone Who Thinks Myspace Is A Waste”: That’s how the director contacted me, so fuck you! Pptpbtbpbptpbt!!!) I had a fun time checking out some of the sights, spending an evening barbequing with her housemates, auditioning and getting cast… good times. And yet no one got to hear these juicy stories because my fingers didn’t have the time to follow through on the stories that kept speeding through my head at… well, at the speed of thought.