During my senior year as an undergrad, the guys in my apartment decided it’d be cool to make a spoof paper and send it out to various friends and professors, the janitorial staff, some squirrels living in the backyard and your mom. Unfortunately for all the aforementioned parties (or perhaps fortunately, depending on your point of view), the paper never came into existence, primarily because I was the only one who wrote any articles. So the following three entries were my attempt at creating a bit of love and joy and sexual healing throughout our little village in Ohio. You’ll have to decide for yourselves whether they would have worked or not. Especially on the squirrels.
You are. And that is enough.
