(Courtesy of “Too Much Coffee Man,” by Shannon Wheeler)
1. Get paper and pencil.
2. Think about things To-Do.
3. Start writing the To-Do List.
4. Watch the list get really big.
5. Get overwhelmed.
6. Panic.
7. Start doing stuff (that isn’t the stuff you’re trying to do) in order to avoid the stuff that you are trying to do.
8. Have anxiety.
9. Work on list again.
10. Add increasingly impossible things to the list.
11. Think about the things you’ve wanted to do in your life, but haven’t done. Realize that your life is a waste and that achieving even the simplest goals is beyond you.
12. Allow yourself to be filled with shame.
13. Freak out.
14. Spend so much time on the To-Do List that you run out of time to actually do anything.
15. Give up.
16. Go outside. It’s a nice day. Life is short.
