Mood Lighting

You may have seen it happen before. You’re at a restaurant. You’re chillin’ with your friends, talking, having dessert, seeing who can drink the most glasses of strawberry lemonade without running to use to the bathroom… just chillin’. Suddenly, the lights get dim. They were bright, then not so bright. It’s either really romantic or really annoying because you can’t see the check properly and end up giving the waitress a 120% tip.

Well, I’ve come up with a possible reason for that which might be surprising (and it’s not because the restaurant thinks its employees could use the extra cash). It’s a step beyond romantic—it’s like putting shots of Jagermeister in your lemonade. And you thought you needed to use the bathroom before…

The first clue was when I visited the Science Museum of Minnesota a couple years back. They have one area that focuses on the human body: “Here’s what germs look like!” “Here are different body types!” “Here are slices of an entire human body that were cut away in a tragic cooking accident!” And then there were two pictures of a single woman’s portrait.

There was a question on the wall: “Which of these women looks more attractive?” I looked back and forth for a minute—they seemed identical—but I ended up choosing the one on the left. It turns out that most people make the same decision because in that picture, her pupils are larger. That’s it. That was the only difference. Bigger black spots in the middle of her irises. And that made her appear more attractive.

[As a side note, back when we were filming Beauty and the Geek, the interviewer asked me what I thought was my partner Scarlet’s best feature. I said, “Her pupils.” I gave them the story about what I saw in the Science Museum, but if you break it down, I just really liked her eyes. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy looking at other parts of her—Scarlet’s a very attractive girl—but I said it was her pupils. When the DVDs for the show come out, I’ll bet you a nickel you won’t see that discussion anywhere in the extra features.]

But like I was saying, bigger pupils make a person look slightly more attractive. Consequently, if you really want to hook up with someone, you can improve your odds by meeting someone right after going to the eye doctor and getting your pupils dilated. Then recently, I thought about how getting drunk can make people appear better-looking as well. (Thankfully, I don’t drink, so the only way your looks are gonna improve dramatically is if you turn the lights off, in which case I won’t be able to see you and it’ll be a moot point.) So here’s my theory:

If big pupils and drinking alcohol can make people seem more attractive, then mood lighting is the first cousin, twice removed of beer goggles.

Leave a Reply