Fun questions and funnerer…er answers!
1. Are you wearing socks right now? On various parts of my body…
2. When was the last time you went out of town? I did it a bunch of times as I drove in and out of several towns to get home from a restaurant.
3. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Yes, because I was jonesing for some really salty and artificially-flavored buttery popcorn.
4. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water from the toilet. (I was hoping that if I drank it fast enough, those bullies wouldn’t be able to give me a swirlie.)
5. What are you wearing right now? Nothing but a smile.
6. Have you been in a car wash? Yeah, but I should probably stay in the car next time—that wax hurts like hell.
7. Last food you ate? It was supposed to be a steak, but it mooed every time I stabbed it with my fork.
8. Where were you last week Sat? In bed, then out of bed, then back in bed again. I was probably in a few other places in between, too.
9. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Does that include purchasing clothing using my five-finger discount?
10. When was the last time you ran? The last time someone chased me after I purchased clothing using my five-finger discount.
11. Last sporting event you watched? Watching those bullies turn around and beat up some old dude with his own walker wasn’t terribly sporting, so I’m not sure.
12. What is your favorite class? Upper-middle.
13. What is your dream vacation? A mansion on a tropical island where I’m being chased through the halls by a faceless man because I didn’t study for my test that afternoon…
14. Last 3 person house you were in? Most of them fit at least three people, don’t they?
15. Parents’ ages? Various anniversaries of their 29th birthdays.
16. Who would you like to be with and where? I’d like to be with me here (wherever “here” might be at the moment).
17. Do you miss anyone? Only if my aim is off or they have really good reflexes.
18. Last play you saw? A quarterback draw on 1st and 10.
19. What are you plans for today? Eat, drink, sleep and breathe. Beyond that, my schedule’s pretty flexible.
20. Who last commented on your page? I did when I said, “I think this format looks like crap.”
21. Ever go to a camp? They kicked me out of Harry Potter camp when I kept stabbing the kids with my broom…
22. Were you ever on the honor roll? Once, when they misspelled my classmate’s last name.
23. What do you want to know about the future? In 10 years, am I going to remember how much time I wasted answering these questions?
24. Are you wearing perfume? No, but some perfume is wearing me.
25. Where is your best friend located? Inside my head.
26. Do you have a tan? I’ve got kind of a paley-white.
27. How old do you want to have kids? I think they should all be about age 9.
28. Do you collect anything? Dust.
29. When was the last time you were stopped or pulled over by a cop? The last time I wasn’t fast enough when they chased me after I purchased clothing using my five-finger discount.
30. Have you ever drunk soda thru a straw? Yeah, but I probably should have drunk thru my mouth instead of my nose.
31. How do you like your drinks? In a liquid form.
32. Do you like hot sauce? I enjoy the smell when I rub it all over my body…
33. Last time you took a shower? The last time a bride left it unguarded and had her head turned for a moment.
34. Who do you have a crush on? The guy in the backyard, ’cause I put a large chunk of concrete on his chest.
35. How is your mood? It’s not so goo– NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!!
36. Are you someone’s best friend? The best friend of the voice inside my head.
37. Are you rich? And creamy.
